PARADISE BENEATH HER FEET
From the title above, it can be deduced (especially for Muslims) that this discussion alludes about Motherhood or mothers. However I won’t deign it necessary to reinstate who a mother is here, rather this will center around our has to do with our relationship with our mothers, how to manage it, how to improve it, how to cherish it. How is your relationship with your mother like?
Mothers are very important and integral part of our lives and in the makings of who we become. Not only did they bring us to this world through labour but they cared for us, nourished us and helped us grow. Mothers are wonderful beings, but people often expected them to be perfect but it is imperative for us to remember that they are humans too. So we need to treat them special, but as
However, how we treat them says a lot about whether we cherish them and how grateful we have to have them in our lives.
For Aminat, “My relationship with my mother cannot be said to be very great, because she can nag. She sees my fault in everything and she won’t allow me try out things on my own except with her constant supervision.”
What kind of mother do you think Aminat’s mother is? To her she is an overbearing person who doesn’t give her breathing space, from a more nuanced perspective, she is a protective mother who tries her best to protect her child from the evil that she sees in the world. I can tell Aminat’s mother loves her dearly. However, she still needs to allow Aminat to learn how to fly on her own against the odds of her life. Right?
For Yusrouh, “My mom is like my best buddy, I tell her everything, we joke, we laugh, we cook together in the kitchen like sisters but sometimes she can be too, let me say, nosy. She wants to know about even the things I decided to keep to myself.”
Yusrouh’s mom wants her child so close to her she is using the “my mom is my best friend” tactics, but does it always work that way? Sometimes even the closest of daugthers will need some privacy. But the positives is that this is a mother that wants to be there every step she takes.
For Semiat, “My mom is always busy, she is a workaholic apart from trying her best to provide for me the basic amenities of life. She can’t give more because her work wouldn’t allow her. There are times when I needed her advice and solace and she won’t be there. With my mom I learnt a long time how to make decisions on my own.”
Semiat’s mom worries more about making sure her child lacks nothing which makes it almost impossible to provide for the emotional needs of her child. Or maybe she just doesn’t know how to give it. Her Mum appears to love her deeply despite not making quality time out for her daughter.
The idea behind this is to find the many things we can cherish in our relationship with our mothers amidst their faults. Everyone usually has many good things to say about their mothers, and of course, the one or two annoying things too.
A sobering thought though, a day will come when they will be gone, in fact painfully that day has come for some, at that time we would all look back and wished we had more time to spend with them, we would all wish we complained less and gave them more excuses for the way they acted and reacted to us. Let’s cherish and enjoy their good and bad while we have them. For those whose mother are already in aljannah, may Allah keep you for your children though, as well as all whose kids will still have grandmas.
Cherish, love, respect ,adore and obey them before while we have them. We pray our children will do same for us when the time comes. Let’s not forget our paradise lies beneath their feet.
The Prophet once said: Goodness meets a slave of Allah who died if (s)he has one of the following:
*did a good deed before (s)he died such that people still benefit from it after their death
*has a righteous child who prays for her and gives charity on her behalf after her demise.
May paradise keep lying beneath the feet of our wonderful mothers!